Back Through The Looking Glass: The Kane Leaves Spain

It's taken me almost two weeks to make myself write this post. I've been back in Dublin some time now, even if I haven't quite managed to unpack and sort out my real life. Sure enough Seville feels like nothing more than a distant dream now. When I left my apartment, leaving my keys on my desk and double checking I had turned everything off, it was as empty as it was when I arrived in September. Back then everything felt so big and so impossible, and I felt so alone. But as we all know, things always seem impossible until they are done. I wish I could go back and tell myself how amazing everything would turn out to be, but I know myself well enough to know that when I am stressed out and scared, seeing a vision of myself claiming to be from the future probably wouldn't help.

saying goodbye to my room :)

I can't think of how many times I have told myself this past year that if this had been easy I wouldn't have learnt anything from it. For me at least that has turned out to be sound advice. Through all the times I wanted to just give up and go home I have learnt more about myself and other people than I ever thought I would. I'm still not exactly sure who I am or where I am going but I think I've accepted that uncertainty. I am however much more aware of who I am not, and who I don't have to be in order to be content. 

There were times on Erasmus that I felt I had been thrown down some sort of rabbit hole. I'm glad that I had friends to turn to and give "that look' whenever something particularly odd happened. While Sevilla to the very last sometimes made me want to put my head in my hands and weep in frustration at how little sense things made, more often towards the end I just shook my head and sighed affectionately at the city that I will never fully understand but which I have grown to love all the same.

some highlights. 

I am so thankful to have been given this year, I am very very lucky to have had this opportunity and I have never taken that for granted. Erasmus is a privilege, it is not something we should all consider our right to take part in, nor is it an excuse for a year off and a piss up. It is costly, but gives you so much in return. It is a learning and growing experience like no other. Like the dust that hovers in the dry air and clings to your skin, Spain stays with you and; unlike the dust, cannot be washed off. I don't feel Spanish, but I have observed and absorbed so much of this culture that I don't think this year will ever leave me, and while I never thought I'd say this, the country now feels like my second home. 

 I will probably be back in Seville, maybe quite soon, maybe a long time away, but it will never be the same as it was when I left it. I will never be the same person I was. The streets will not remember me but I will remember them, their twists and shadows imprinted on my memory. And when they begin to fade, there will still be stories to tell, those disconnected memories that stay with you even when the details are long forgotten.

Here is where this journey ends, for now at least. Thank you all for joining me along the way. Adiós amigos.

That's a Bit Worrying

Ayuntamiento de Sevilla*, I have some questions. 

1. Where are the bin people?

2. Are the bin people on strike?

3. Are the bin people going to come back?

4. When are the bin people coming back?

That is all.

It's been about a week since the bins were collected  We assume they are on strike because it's Spain and someone has to be at any given time. I am mostly worried about rats. Fortunately it's not too hot so the whole city doesn't smell like a landfill.


Yet.


*city council

Exams in Seville: What?

He vuelto! So far I have done 2 exams and now I have a nice 10 day break until my next one (I have 3 in quick succession). What have I made of them? Well, put it this way, it could have gone worse. Now that's a tricky phrase to employ because you could really almost always use it. If I had sat down and not been able to write a single word I could still have said it could have gone worse because really, the room could have burned down around me, a badger could have come in and chewed my leg off, or I could have forgotten my pen. Still, it's the best assessment I can give.

study fuel

For this year I have adopted the "Try not to fail and if you do fail oh well you have to go back to Ireland eventually" mentality. For this reason I... really haven't been very studious. Yes, my political ideologies exam last Monday had me panicking because I had so little idea of the background of, well, everything on the course, so my friend and I (we divided the material between us) did have an impressive combined 60ish pages of notes to go by. Needless to say the essay questions were topics I had not revised, but I managed. I'm hoping the Universidad de Sevilla gives out attempt marks like in Leaving Cert Maths. 19th Century Art History on Thursday was another story however. Typical, it was my favourite class of the term and one I actually did enjoy revising for, yet I'd say I did about ...3 hours? work towards it. Once again it could have been worse but it could have been better.

As per my predictions, exams here are quite a bit more laid back than in Dublin. On Monday we were split up and sent into offices in small groups to do the exam because a room couldn't be found for us, and a woman came in to mop the floor of my room about an hour in. There's no anonymous marking here, so my potential failure won't be hidden by a student number. Yesterday rather than give out an exam paper the professor just read out one essay title and we all did that for an hour. So far both exams have been shorter than timetabled. No seat numbers, no ID checks, no "leave everything outside", and not one person in a cape. I'm reeling from the informality of it all. 

Avoiding Exam Stress: Instead of stabbing people, use a knife to make a healthy breakfast!

In other news, there are city workers harvesting the oranges by hitting the trees with big sticks and on Monday I might be going to a *shock, horror, plot twist* football match. So if that happens it's bound to be interesting and I shall tell you all about it. Happy weekend mis amigos xx

Navidad 1: Luces de colores

Positives since we last spoke: Had an amazing Christmas dinner party with friends to say goodbye until after the holidays, we ate way too much and it was glorious. Also, I woke up at 8.50 for a 9am class and managed to get up, get dressed, put on make up and make it to the class before the lecturer had started talking. I live 15 minutes from the university, I don't know how it happened. Finally, today I bought my train ticket to Malaga, which is the first step of the journey home on Friday. Otherwise, it has been a tiring week, my friends. Let's look at some of the pretty lights from around Sevilla and think about Christmas.

Alameda de Hercules

Plaza de la Encarnación

Corte Ingles (Plaza del Duque)

Calle San Eloy

Calle Tetuan

Calle Mendez Nunez

Plaza Nueva

... Also Plaza Nueva

Avenida de la Constitución being photobombed by the cathedral

light show against the city council buildings

... see it changes colour

irrelevant but PUPPIES

Ah. I feel better now. The puppies were a good choice. Hasta manana. x

Happy Puente! Also: Art!

Hola a todos, happy Wednesday! I had a productive rent-paying internet-organising bus-ticket-buying class-going kind of day today, and this Wednesday is the beginning of a very Spanish type of weekend. A 4 day weekend. When a public holiday falls on a Thursday, often the Friday is taken off too, forming a lovely long weekend for everyone, and the name given to this is a Puente, which is Spanish for bridge. Doesn't it all make sense? This weekend from Friday to Sunday I'll be enjoying my puente with a last minute trip to Granada with some friends, so hopefully I'll have lots to show and tell you when I get back. In the meantime enjoy this photo collage (phone camera, fairly grim quality I apologise) of pictures I took during a trip to the Museo de las Bellas Artes today in Seville. It's free in with an EU passport, and as I had mine on me when I passed by this afternoon on the way back from the bus station I figured why not go in as I hadn't actually seen inside yet. It was a nice way to spend 45 minutes, I'm not a big fan of religious art, which is what a lot of the collection is made up of (I find it very repetitive) but there are some nice Baroque era portraits and works by Sevillan artists from the 18th and 19th centuries.  Considering that it's free and doesn't take too much time to go around, I'd say it's very worth a visit. I'm looking forward to going back and spending more time there. I like going to art galleries on my own, to quote Mr. Bean in his film "I... sit in the corner... and look at the paintings". They're very calming places to be... unless they're a modern art gallery in which case they can be scary and tiring.  Hasta luego x

We're a bit miffed to be honest

Meanwhile, in Andalucia...

"we should not and will not pay"

These two photos were taken at a protest in mid-October.

"It's not a crisis, it's a rip-off"Also yer man's face right under the sign, hilarious.

Spain is angry. I think they're angry at the government. They're also angry at the banks.  Basically it's like Ireland, but the Spanish passion makes everything more exciting, not to mention unavoidable whenever you leave the house. In any case, times are hard for an awful lot of people, over a quarter of Spain's labour force are unemployed and the rate is even higher in the southern community of Andalucia where Sevilla is located.  Since I've lived here I've witnessed quite a few protests about austerity and cutbacks, as well as some strikes, most notably the general strike across Spain of the 14th of November, which protested the measures the government is taking to control Spain's debt.  I won't pretend to be well informed enough to offer an opinion on what should be done, if I did someone would probably throw something at me. I am not well versed in economic matters anyway and it's particularly difficult to keep up to date with global news lately. I find on news websites that I'm often distracted by the "fun" stories, or drawn away from relatively dry economics by... well, anything else.

apologies for the dreadful phone photography

The economic downturn is evident in many areas, a large proportion of the people begging on the streets hold signs claiming to be in such straits due to losing their job in the Crisis. There are also large numbers of homeless in Seville, this is much more evident at around 9 at night when you see people setting out their sleeping bags for the night in doorways, some taking shelter in the entryways of closed down banks. Like a great deal of people across Europe the Spanish feel let down by their government and cheated by their banks, and dissatisfied with the solutions being offered for their problems. They are sick of the cutbacks and austerity measures, so they are taking to the streets. And they don't mince their words.

"thieves" next to an ATM

Along with this I have also seen slogans like "burn your bank" spray painted on walls. All in all, the anti-government and anti-bank sentiment, while not necessarily more evident than in Ireland, seems to be far more... angry. Ireland is angry too of course, but I find we're more bitter and weary (too used to this kind of nonsense) and our dark sense of humour is getting us through without too much violence. However, as this mannequin wearing a trade union badge shows, the Spaniards can have a laugh about their problems too.

Look at how topical I'm being.

viva la resistancia

10 Good Things

cheerfullllllllll

A different kind of post today. So I was quite sick last week again and was pretty much confined to my room for a few days. Anyway, it all got a little miserable lying in bed not being able to move or eat or drink without large amounts of pain and even though it's not the first time I've been sick since I've been here (hello weak immune system) it was definitely the worst case of "I want to be at home where someone will take care of me" I've had so far and it definitely didn't help the feeling of being behind with classes and being afraid of failing the (still very far away) exams. My flatmate and I had a chat in the kitchen last night about how much harder and quite lonely it is being unwell when you're away from home, even when it's nothing serious. This morning I was well enough to go back to college and sure enough being outside and talking to people helped things get a little bit more positive. To focus on that I decided to tell you all 10 things about Seville that make life a bit more cheerful lately.

1. The Christmas lights being up on the Avenida de la Constitución. 

2. The oranges on the trees finally ripening and providing some colour in the dull weather.

3. Knowing what's going on in most lectures.

4. The smell/ heat that comes out of the roast chicken shop (such a thing exists here) on the way to my flat. Also the chicken that comes out of said shop. Om.

5. Finding new and more convenient places to do things like buy phone credit/ stamps/ top up my bus ticket that just make life easier.

6. This video from Vodafone... not 100% what the point is but it is completely spot on when it comes to many Spaniards' take on the English language. 

7. Being able to get into bed and chill out without feeling guilty because I actually went to all of my classes. For once.

8. The Christmas carols being played in the nativity markets around the Cathedral.

9. Wandering around various Chinese multiarticulos shops and finding the oddest things that you never knew you needed... until now!

10.  When I'm getting the bus back from my language classes and it's driving past the particularly grim blocks of flats around Santa Justa train station... but you can still just see the statue on top of the Giralda in the distance. Nice to find the beauty in an otherwise dreary scene. 

I'll resume normal service tomorrow, I am wiped out after today. Hasta luego muchachos x

Fiesta de Naciones

Hola amigos. One of the things I have liked about Seville so far is that there always seems to be something going on. The same could be said of home but I suppose when you're immersed in your own life you don't really take the time to enjoy your own city. Here I don't have much of a life, so there you go. This lovely festival took place in the Prado de San Sebastián, one of Seville's city parks. It ran from the 20th of September until yesterday, the 4th of November, which was great because it meant we were able to visit time and time again to sample the different foods and sights on offer. Sadly, the last week of the festival coincided with what I can only describe as monsoons, so I never did get to go back and have some of those Argentinian sausages (oh my). Also, I was clearly so overwhelmed by everything when I was there that I only managed to take these 3, poor, pictures. Oh well.

The festival was made up of stalls from various countries around the world (Ireland didn't make an appearance, sad face). Many sold handicrafts from a given country but there were a number of country-less jewellery (and, to be blunt, pointless tat) stalls as well. There was also an "alternative hairdresser" where you can get your dreads done. For some reason they also sold second hand books. My favourites, however, were the stalls which just sold food (good shout, India, France and Argentina, to name a few). 2 Pakoras and a beer for €4? Amazing. Especially seeing as Indian food seems to be non existent here.
Laters.

come back i love you